No Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

There was this one time last week where I’m positive people wanted to call CPS on me…

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It was a day like every other. The girls requested to dress them selves, which meant rain boots, pink dresses, matching head bands, and crocs. My 4 year old did the makeup of her self and the two year old. Although they looked as if they both had black eyes, I’ve learned in my few years of being their mommy that I need to pick my battles wisely. Rain boots and black eyes for make-up were fine in my book…that day…

We entered into the store, Hobby Lobby, and the girls eyes lit up as they noticed Christmas, Halloween, and pink sparkly things placed strategically around the store. I knew immediately keeping them in the cart was going to be nearly impossible…I knew things might end badly. I should have turned around. But I didn’t.

I became too confident in my parenting skills.

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As we walked around the store searching for the things I needed, all the trinkets and sparkly things started to affect the children. GREATLY. They ran, they screamed, they grabbed, they pulled. (By they I mean the two year old.) I tried my best to keep them in control, threatening them with loosing toys and iPad time, then bribing them with old food at the bottom of my bag.

Then things got bad. Real bad.

The two year old had about had it. I tried my hardest to buckle her in the cart, but the screams made it embarrassing and impossible to continue. As we headed for the checkout line I stupidly let me girls play with the GOSH FREAKING DARN toys that sit near the register.

DUMB Arielle. DUMB.

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I noticed the two year old taking a liking to a pink unicorn and in my head knew crap was about to hit the fan. I planned an escape rout in my head, which involved dropping the toy and running out the door.

But then, in the process of the toy being dropped and the screams beginning…The 4 year old had to pee. BAD. BAD as in it’s coming out bad. So we rushed to the back of the store, one child holding them selves, the other screaming a scream only people have nightmares about.  We then rushed into the bathroom stall and handled business.

The two year old was still screaming, and this time even louder. I tried everything I could to calm her, but clearly she wasn’t having it. A good 10 minutes went by in that bathroom, because I was too embarrassed to leave. I thought, maybe if she just stops we can run out and no one will notice.

Then an employee comes to check on us, ya know, because it sounded like I was BEATING MY CHILD. At that moment I knew I had to leave.

 

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As we walked to the front of the store with the screaming, legs and arms flailing child in my arms, I saw and felt each entire person’s eyes glaring and me. I could read their thoughts,  “Unfit mother, spoiled brats, OMG SHE’S PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER!!”…

I had to bite my tongue from screaming, “WHAT THE HECK IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT?!”

As we got in the car, dramatically I might add, I sat there and started to laugh…and then cry. No way did that just happen.

And as I looked up in my rear view mirror to look at my two precious darling little divas, I heard a quiet whimpering voice say,

“Mommy…Can I have a Chookie?”

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5.0 from 2 reviews
No Bake Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookies
 
Ingredients
  • ½ c. honey
  • ¼ c. coconut oil
  • ¼ c. unsweetened cocoa powder
  • dash of salt
  • ½ c. peanut butter or almond butter*
  • ¾ c. quick oats
  • ⅓ c. dried cranberries
  • ⅓ c. unsweetened coconut
  • 2 TB. chopped dark chocolate
  • 1 TB. chia seeds
  • * If you use a more natural peanut butter, they tend to have more oil to them. Take this into consideration when making the cookies. You may need to take a way 1 TB. of coconut oil if your nut butter seems really oily.
Instructions
  1. In a sauce pan, melt honey, coconut oil, and salt. Stir in cocoa powder and nut butter until combined and melted, about 2-3 minutes.
  2. Remove the pot from the heat, cover it with a lid, and let it sit for about 5 minutes.
  3. Remove the lid, stir in the oats, cranberries, coconut, chocolate, and chia seeds.
  4. Using a small cookie cutter, scoop the cookies out onto a baking sheet fitted with parchment paper or baking mat.
  5. You can top the cookies with additional coconut if desired.
  6. Place the cookies in the fridge and let them set for at least 30 minutes. Keep them in an airtight container in the fridge.
  7. Enjoy!!
  8. Adapted from Food Network Magazine

 

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And that my friends is why I will never go to the store ever again in my life.

The end.

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Comments

  1. Omg I”m DYINGGGGGGGGGGG. I’m laughing so hard but also feeling terrible for you because we’ve all had similar moments in the store with our kids. This one is a chart topper, especially paired with the black eye shadow, but it is hilarious and one to definitely share again down the road over coffee with new mom friends, or in the Christmas card. hahaa!

  2. Ari your stories are hysterical 🙂 Your girls are too cute! Cookies look unreal…!

  3. Every mother can relate to your story because they have lived one of their own – and survived. My youngest is almost 24 and I still remember it as it was yesterday. It’s good you can see some humor as it will allow you to survive the years to come – and honestly there will be a point in the teen years you will wish they were toddlers again! Keep you head up and keep laughing!

  4. My heart goes out to you! It sounds like you had quite a day! Those cookies look incredible though!

  5. I had pretty much the same thing happen at the park the other day! I was wearing my newborn and my two year old (who is the size of a 4 year old) was throwing a temper tantrum because we were leaving. Since I was wearing my newborn I literally had to drag a screaming, flailing, toddler to the car (which was a half-mile walk) and it was a super crowded day. EVERYONE was staring at me.
    Oh the joys of parenthood… 🙂

    • I feel like our children would be best friends forever? haha! Sometimes when people stare I just want to yell, “WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!”…But I don’t :)!
      Glad we can relate Allie!

  6. Ari just wait until you have more than 3! I have 4 kids and I get the comment… Are they ALL yours? as if my family is the size of the Duggars! Thanks for the recipe!

  7. Rachel McEwen says:

    I’ve been waiting for a healthy version of the no bake cookie (which happens to be my favorite) YAY!!! Thank you for sharing your talent. One question…do you have any suggestions on what I could use to substitute dried cranberries? Not a huge fan of them. Thanks again!!

  8. I swear i’ve gained 20 lbs from reading your blog, between the 3 ingredient fudge recipe and now these! GRRR! 🙂

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