The mall is a dangerous place for a woman such as myself.
Between the Nordstroms’ shoe department, H&M, and Baby Gap, I can’t help but find myself in deep doo doo a few hours later.
And even deeper doo doo when I try and explain to the Hubby why Baby Boo’s pants cost more than a date night dinner for two.
“If you really must know these actually were on sale, so you should be congratulating me for finding SUCH a good deal!”
On top of taking away any chance of Baby Boo’s college being paid for, my pregnancy senses seem to go hay wire each time I set foot into the mall.
I swear my butt gets bigger just walking by Cinnabon.
I’ve never so badly wanted to take a bath in Hot Dog on a Sticks Lemonade than I do when I go to the mall.
And hot dang all mighty the smell of those soft buttery salty pretzels seriously makes me salivate to the point where Baby Boo is having to wipe my face with her burp cloth.
Those pretzels have been on my mind for some time, and since I love carbs so much I practically have to walk a different path in the mall just so I don’t break down and buy 15 pretzels and eat them in a corner like a hungry beast.
So what do I go and do…
I make them at home instead with good ingredients…
Then continue to eat them in the corner, while growling at anyone who comes near me to have a bite.
It’s not my most attractive quality…I blame it on the hormones.
Whole Wheat Garlic and Herb Soft Pretzels
Adapted from: Here
2 TB. brown sugar
1 1/2 c. luke warm water
1 pkg. yeast
6 TB. melted coconut oil-make sure it’s luke warm and not hot
1 1/2 c.-2 c. Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
1 1/2 c. -2 c. White Whole Wheat Flour (Spelt is a great alternative, but I was out of town and this is all I had on hand.)
1 1/2-2 TB. finely chopped parlsey
1 1/2 -2 TB. finely chopped thyme
1 1/2 -2 TB. finely chopped rosemary
1 tsp. crushed garlic
1 1/2 TB. salt
3 quarts water
2/3 c. baking soda
1 egg mixed with 1 TB. cold water
2 TB. melted coconut oil mixed with 1/4 tsp. crushed garlic
1. In a mixer fit with a dough hook add sugar, water, yeast, and melted coconut oil. Stir just enough until combined, then let sit about 5 minutes until yeast gets foamy.
2. While the yeast is setting, chop up herbs. Once the yeast is set, sprinkle salt, flour, herbs, and garlic over yeast mixture. Start with 1 1/2 c. of each flour. With the dough hook, stir until dough begins to pull away from the side of the bowl. If its too wet, add more flour by the TB’s. Wheat dough is a lot tougher, so you don’t want it to be too dry.
3. Remove dough from bowl and kneed dough into a ball. Grease a bowl with melted coconut oil and place dough ball in side, turning around so the dough is coated with the oil too. Cover bowl and let sit in a warm place for at least an hour so the dough rises to double in size.
4. Once the dough rises, and take it out of the bowl and divide it into 8 parts. Bring the 3 quarts of water into a boil while prepping the pretzels.
5. Roll out dough balls into a long rope.
6. Once you have a long rope, form into a pretzel.
7. When the pretzels are all ready, place 4 on each baking sheet at set aside and pre-heat oven to 425 degrees.
8. Slowly add the baking soda to the pot of boiling water.
9. Slowly add pretzels to boiling water and boil the pretzels 1-2 at a time for 30 seconds, all the while using a spoon to slash water on top of the pretzel.
10. Remove pretzel with a large slotted spatula, and place on baking sheet while boiling others. (4 to a baking sheet)
11. Brush tops of pretzels with egg wash and sprinkle with sea salt.
12. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes, or until golden brown.
13. Brush with melted coconut oil and garlic mixture and place pretzels on wire baking rack. Dig in while hot!
Next, grab the pretzels and sit in the corner of a room…and eat.
Eat all of them.
And don’t go hatin’ and thinking because these are whole grain that they will be dense and hard as a rock…
No my friends…Nothing rock hard about these. Just pure carb deliciousness.
What is it about delicious food that makes us do crazy things?
To each their own right?