I used to fear you.
I used to cry when I found out your amount on my favorite chocolate cake.
I used to check you often, like a jealous girlfriend…And everytime, you seemed to disappoint. I knew you could never be trusted.
Calories. Your shady. You pretend to be something you’re not.
You say you’re so little, but then I check with your friends sugar and fat, and well, they’ve made up for your “little” size alright, and hiding what “half” the calories really means.
Just when I think you are doing my body good..
You are really doing it OH.SO.WRONG.
You say that the smaller the size you are the better for me, when in reality, your a lying backstabbing no good sun of a biscuit.
No nutrition, just pure sugar, and bad fats, and lard.
Oh wait, but your only 120 calories..
Then I guess it’s worth it right?
Is it worth checking every box, calculating every number, crying over nothing to eat on the menu besides a dressing-less salad?
Is it worth the limits, and the nasty food, and the small bags of packaged oreos.
BUT it’s ONLY 100 Calories!
I want you to know I am leaving you. I find it pointless to check you and watch you like a hawk. You drive me crazy, and I don’t know why I would do that to my self.
I will no longer eat something because of your size, but I will eat food based of it’s nutrition, and it’s benefits for my body. And don’t try and convince me that it’s healthy for me to eat a certain amount of calories per meal, and that a 300 calorie frozen meal is good for me.
Because it’s NOT.
You see, I am sorry calories, but a 300 calorie frozen meal will not satisfy. I will be starving 20 minutes later, thus consuming more of you. I won’t be getting the nutrition that I need when I am depriving myself from healthy fats, good carbs, and much needed protein.
I know that I don’t want to count on you the rest of my life. Because I hate diets. I am all for a lifestyle.
And I am sick and tired of asking for the nutritional information at a restaurant.
I’m not stupid.
I know what is in macaroni and cheese, and I most definitely know what is in that chocolate cake.
I know that if I eat a salad with a nuts or avocado, tons of veggies, and fresh dressing, that I am most likely consuming more calories than a piece of rice cake topped with a tomato.
But instead of 100 calories, I’ll get the fats, proteins, carbs, & nutrients that my body needs.
We are no longer dating in a very unhealthy relationship.
We are now friends.
Even though I think you are a rotten dirty tramp sometimes.
You see calories, I am no longer afraid of your numbers. I know who you are and I know all about you. I know your secrets and I know how you trick.
And I will no longer count you because, well, I hate math.
You will no longer be my Chris Brown, and I will no longer be your Rhianna. You can’t beat me up, and bring me down.
From now on I don’t want to know anything about you. I respect who you are, and I’ll leave it at that.
Cherry Chocolate Milk Shake
(serves 2….or 1 ;] )
2 fudge schmalls(recipe below)
1 frozen banana
1 cup frozen cherries
6 cubes frozen coconut milk
1/4-1/2 cup coconut milk (or other non dairy creamy milk-help/soy vanilla)
Blend in a blender until creamy. Add extra cherries and sprinkle with cocoa-nibs.
(Adapted from ChocolateCoveredKatie!)
1/2 cup pecans
1/2 cup walnuts
1 1/3 cup pitted dates
1 tsp. vanilla
4 TB cocoa powder
Blend all ingredients in food processor until combined and somewhat crumbly/moist.
Form into schmalls and store in fridge/freezer.